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Occasionally Kate Episode 7 - Deadheading Your Past


Welcome to Occasionally Kate, Episode 7 – deadheading your past.  Sounds weird but stick with me here.  We are surrounded by energy and full of energy.  It’s literally what makes our world go round.  That’s such a huge concept but what if we break it down to a very small example that could impact our lives in the most profound way?  Think about this… where are we choosing to allow the energy to flow?  To the past or to the future? Listen in as we dig a little deeper and find a new perspective on an old concept.


Hello everyone!  Thanks so much for choosing this podcast to add to your day.  I hope this finds you at the perfect time and adds value to your life.  I’m Kate Higdon and I’m so incredibly honored to share with you today a little something that has helped me redirect my energy and focus on the present and the future.  At the end of this…  my outcome is for you to step away and know you have the power to redirect your own energy to appreciate where you are and focus on where you are going.  So let’s get started…

Every morning in the spring and summer I spend time with my flowers.  Two main reasons…  1, they remind me of my grandmother who took such amazing pride in her flowers and we spent countless hours in her greenhouse and garden together.  She shared with me her love of violets, petunias, and impatiens to name just a few.

Second reason… it clears my mind.  It’s a quiet time just to myself.  Caring for these beautiful flowers gives me a sense of peace but also wonderment.  How can something so fragile and delicate have survived the harshness of this world?

This morning as I was deadheading my petunias I began to think… why am I actually doing this?  What is the benefit to this plant for me to pull off the dying and dead blooms?

My grandmother told me…  deadheading them allowed the plant to focus it’s energy on the new blooms that were about to blossom.

WOW!  What an amazing analogy unfolded in my mind.

We have to get rid of the past and the things that no longer serve us to provide energy and hope for the future.

Most of us never deadhead our own lives?  Our own minds?  We hold on to the things in the past and present that don’t serve us any longer.  The pain, the guilt, the regret, the bad decisions, the people, the places?

For me…  the past I have so tightly held on to:  The hope for family relationships that can never be.  The guilt of eating disorders.  The shame of sexual harassment and abuse.  The heartache of relocating over and over from town to town, always saying goodbye to people I love.  The burden of family depression and secrets.  The pain of never feeling enough, never feeling like I fit in. 

I believed these things defined me.  As much as my logical mind knew I needed to push past them, my heart didn’t really want to let go of them.  It’s as if they were a badge of honor.  My penance, my martyrdom.

Whenever life took a wrong turn… I poured energy into these things from my past.  Not really as an excuse but almost as a comfort.  I KNEW these emotions therefore nothing could hurt me more…  I’ve already experienced this pain. 

What I didn’t realize was that emotionally revisiting these times in my life allowed energy to keep pouring into them.  Overtime, that energy created a type of armor meant to protect me but actually hindering me with the weight.

What I needed to do, what we all need to do, is deadhead those emotions.  If we don’t…  we can’t make room for the beauty that is to come.  The beauty that is laying inside us like a seed waiting for the sun.

Once we can remove those dead and dying ideas and emotions from our past, we provide energy to step into our future.  We provide energy for new blooms to blossom.  New relationships, new dreams, new desires, new hope.

I know, I know…  it sounds easier said than done.  I get it.  It’s not like I just had some big epiphany and all the pain from my past just disappeared and rode into the sunset on my beautiful unicorn.

It took time… moment by moment, trigger by trigger.  It took effort, consistently working on myself.  And most importantly it took gratitude.  A VAST amount of gratitude. 

It’s easy to be grateful for all the positive things in our past.. but what if we could find ways to be grateful for even the negative.  Sounds like a huge mountain to climb, I get it!  But what if? What if we flipped the switch in our mind and began to actually reframe our emotions.  I’m grateful for relocating so many times in my life because it taught me to talk to new people.  I’m grateful for the harassment and abuse because I see the beauty in how my husband respects and loves me and it’s made me a better mother to my daughter and my son.  I’m grateful for experiencing never feeling enough because I now have the chance to impact and inspire others who feel the same, to help free them.

Time, patience, grace and gratitude.  Begin to deadhead your past so you can allow the energy in this world, the energy in YOU to flow and provide new blooms and a new beautiful future.  Stop the habit of revisiting your past, it has no power over you.  It only has the power that you are providing it.  Focus that energy on NEW ventures, NEW dreams.

The energy of the universe flows through you… stop blocking it with emotions from your past.  The new blooms are begging for that energy and it’s all up to you to provide it.

You, my friend, are worth the effort and the work.

 Thanks so much for tuning in and remember… It’s all gonna be OK!

Subscribe to Occasionally Kate Podcast HERE

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